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What’s the difference between being in love and being infatuated? If you are concerned about your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend being healthy or not, ask yourself if it’s characterized by true love or obsession. Here’s how to tell:

Infatuation is instant desire. Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his or her presence even when he or she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him or her nearer, but near or far, you know he or she is yours and you can wait. Infatuation says, "We must get married right away! I can't risk losing you!" Love says, "Be patient. Do not panic. Plan your future with confidence." Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you can admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end - in intimacy. Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When he or she is away you wonder if he or she is cheating. Sometimes you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your beloved feels that also and that makes him or her even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will. Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person. – Project Reality’s Game Plan

If you are infatuated, you are probably thrilled but not happy, wanting to trust, yet suspicious. Most infatuation relationships are centered on sex and somehow being with them is not complete unless it ends in some kind of sexual encounter.

Don’t get confused. Don’t settle for a temporary obsession that will only set you up for physical or emotional disaster.