Have you ever thought about what your wardrobe says about you?

It says a lot.

What you wear sends messages to those around you. Ask yourself what you want that message to be? You should be striving to convey your confidence in you who are and the decisions you've made to pursue a healthy and positive lifestyle.

Modesty isn't just some age old concept that means you have to walk around wearing out of style, frumpy clothes. There are several cool and trendy outfits out there that make you look stylish without showing off your body in an inappropriate way.

So, before you get suited up in your new back-to-school digs, think about guidelines for clothes that make the code:

Shorts and Skirts: Keep the length longer than fingertips when standing naturally and arms to the side.

Necklines: No visible cleavage please!

Shirts: Tank Top straps should be at least 2.5” wide for guys and girls. Avoid sheer fabrics please.  We truly don’t wish to see it! Although perfect for the park, open back shirts (halter or

tie-back shirts) are not perfect for school. Tube tops or one-shoulder strap tops are suitable for the beach but not for school. All shirts should come to the pant waistband.  Save a bare abdomen for the poolside!

Pants: Pants should be worn at the waistline. Sagging is not acceptable. Your underwear should remain “down under,” you too ladies!

General: Keep it clean and safe for everyone.  Any clothing with drug or alcohol references, racially offensive language, profanity, or sexually suggestive language or graphics does not

belong at school.

Formal Dresses: Steer clear of strapless attire, excessive plunging fronts or backs or visible cleavage. Shirts or slits shouldn't exceed fingertips when standing naturally.

Want to see what some of the latest trends are all about? Come check out Pure Passion for Fashion. Rel8 is hosting a fashion show for YOU. The event is Friday, August 28^th at 7p.m. and includes an introduction to modest fashion, local music performances and a performance by Hip-Hop artist, “H.” The event also features nationally-acclaimed speaker David Mahan.

On top of that, everyone who attends is entered to win a back-to-school shopping spree at St. Clair Square!

ReL8 would love to see you there! For more information, and to print your free ticket, visit:

For any of you who want to get married someday (according to the CDC, over 2 million people get hitched every year) abstinence is your ticket to a life-long, committed, monogamous and faithful marriage! “Huh?” you say?

Remaining abstinent until marriage develops self control that a marriage takes to work, strengthens the love that only wants the best for the other person, and builds the character you need to be the best husband or wife that makes a happy and healthy marriage. (If you’re still skeptical or curious email me. JillianB@myReL8.com)

PLUS, married couples who waited to become sexually active until marriage reported having a happier, healthier lifestyle and a more satisfied sex life than couples who did not wait.¹

One more point scored for Abstinence!

^1.David B. Larson, MD, NMSPH, et al, “The Costly Consequences of Divorce: Assessing the Clinical, Economic, Public Health Impact of Marital Disruption in the United States,” National Institute for Healthcare and Research, Rockville, Maryville. (1994): 84-85

even though you’re not going all the way, you’re still messing around, having intimate contact, kissing, cuddling…

One problem…all of that one-thing-leads-to-another intimate contact releases a hormone called oxytocin. This one-of-a-kind chemical creates a glue-like feeling between two people I like to call stickiness. Having ANY kind of sexual contact with another person sticks them together and creates a bond that will last you the rest of your life.  Yep, that’s right…it’s yours to keep. Variations of bonding include: comparisons, flashbacks, STDs, children, low self esteem…

Oxytocin attaches you to someone else who you might not want to be attached to for the rest of your life. So when that very special day comes (Wedding Day, 20??), do you want other people’s stickiness to be stuck to you?

Condoms are NOT an end all cure all. Condoms are made of latex. Latex thinner than a rubber glove that doctors wear to perform surgery. Do you really want to entrust your life to a piece of latex thinner than a latex glove?

 
FACT: HPV (Human Papillomavirus - which causes genital warts and cervical cancer) is the most commonly transmitted STD today. HPV is transmitted from skin-to-skin contact.
WARNING: Condoms do not provide complete protection against skin-to-skin contact during sexual contact.

FACT: HIV is an incurable disease. 1 out of 3 infected people don’t even know they have it.
WARNING: Condoms have an average of a 31% failure rate in preventing the transmission of HIV from in infected to an uninfected partner.

FACT: Over 2,000 teenage girls get pregnant every day.
WARNING: 10% of women get pregnant while using a condom during intercourse.

DANGER: Condoms break, slip off, leak, and can even have holes in them.
Don't you think if 'safe sex' were the way to go, that more condom use would equal lower disease rates and teen pregnancy rates?

ABSTINENCE: the ONLY 100%, NO fail, have-some-peace-of-mind way to avoid getting an STD or getting pregnant.

Facts taken from: McIlhaney, Joe S. Jr. M.D. SEX what you don’t know can kill you 1997.

Since ABC Family’s new show ‘The Secret Life of the American Teenager’ just won the Teen Choice Award for “Choice Summer TV Show,” I can’t help but wonder if teens are finally going to get a dose of some REALity in a television show featuring drama days of teens.

Even I get so into this show that I I’m finding myself yelling at the screen at Amy to tell her mother she is pregnant! How can a girl go through something like that on her own?

I’m telling you…your parents are your friends when it comes to tough decisions and helpless times. Go to your parents or a trusted adult and ask for help.

"Discussing why she wears a purity ring -- a piece of jewelry meant to symbolize one's belief of no sex until marriage -- Cyrus cites her peers as motivation. "Even at my age, a lot of girls are starting to fall, and I think if [staying a virgin] is a commitment girls make, that's great," the 15-year-old 'Hannah Montana' starlet said."

"But when it does come to interaction with boys, Cyrus says she likes to think of herself as "the girl that no one can get, that no one can keep in their hand."  That doesn't exactly sound like a girl who wants to keep the attention away.....

Despite the racy photos and seeming flirty comments, is 'Hannah Montana' still the sweet girl we know and love?  Is Miley still role-model worthy after all the scandal? What do you think?

What are you going to do this summer? The fondest memories I have of summer are with my best friends and I getting way too tan at the beach, goofing off at the mall and adventuring into the woods on a hike. Take advantage of being young and free to have fun! Spend lots of time with your friends hanging out at the pool or exploring uncharted territory. Why not even make a list of completely off-the-wall things to do in the summer.  I’ll even get you started:

1.       Skee-ball tournament

2.       Make your own clothes (or decorate some you already have)

3.       Plant a garden

4.       Learn to do a back flip

5.       Camp out in your backyard

And don’t forget to take lots of pictures…

If you are in a habit of being sexually active, it’s probably going to feel a little abnormal to abstain from any kind of sexual activity at first. But the best way to start something is just to start right? Even if you’ve already messed up you can still choose abstinence!

Changing your hairstyle is a lot different than changing your lifestyle but both are doable. It might take some getting used to but the reward is so worth the challenge.

Infatuation is instant desire. Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his or her presence even when he or she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him or her nearer, but near or far, you know he or she is yours and you can wait. Infatuation says, "We must get married right away! I can't risk losing you!" Love says, "Be patient. Do not panic. Plan your future with confidence." Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you can admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end - in intimacy. Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When he or she is away you wonder if he or she is cheating. Sometimes you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your beloved feels that also and that makes him or her even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will. Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person. – Project Reality’s Game Plan

If you are infatuated, you are probably thrilled but not happy, wanting to trust, yet suspicious. Most infatuation relationships are centered on sex and somehow being with them is not complete unless it ends in some kind of sexual encounter.

Don’t get confused. Don’t settle for a temporary obsession that will only set you up for physical or emotional disaster.

Love is not just a feeling. Love is an action that requires effort to show someone that you love them. How is someone going to know you love them by the butterflies in your stomach? In order for someone to know that you love them, you’ve got to do more than just say those three words. Your words have got to line up with your actions. You’ve got to show them by encouraging them, helping them when you know they need help, spending time with them, giving them gifts, or giving them a pat on the back (or maybe a hug =)). The feelings of love come as a result of the action of love.

So how do you know if you’re “in love?” Take a look at how they treat you and how you treat him or her. Are you in love or are you infatuated?

 
First of all what’s the difference? Is a healthy relationship characterized by rudeness, selfishness and manipulation? NO! Is a healthy relationship revolved around sex where as long as there is sex being had then that is good enough? NO!

So often girls give sex to get love and guys often give love to get sex. This is a form of manipulation that characterizes an unhealthy relationship.

If you’re only with that person because you fear being alone, or because of your history together, or because you don’t think anyone else will have you, I’m sorry to tell you that you’re probably in it for the wrong reasons. Don’t waste your priceless freedom being stuck in the mud with someone who isn’t making you a better person.

A healthy relationship is characterized by loving yourself first so you can love the other person more than yourself…the golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated.

A healthy relationship is characterized by sweet companionship, similar goals and dreams, respect and love. What is love? That is a whole other blog. Tune in next week…